Awk meme (Bakerstreet plz)

[witchplz]

That Awkward Meme

o1. You're trying to slink away with your partner’s valuables after a one night stand only to wake them up in the process.
o2. You send a message with your confession, raaage, embarrassing questions or compromising pictures to the wrong person.
o3. You forgot about a birthday or anniversary and now have to pitch a cheap gift bought in five minutes off the nearest 7/11 as a symbolic expression of your feelings.
o4. You lost your wallet and have to charm a perfect stranger into paying your tab.
o5. You spill your wine on the event special guest half an hour before they're due giving their speech.
o6. You need to get rid of your date/groupie/coworker to assume your superhero identity and go save the day in the nearby building.
o7. You can’t stop hiccuping during someone's heartfelt confession of undying affection.
o8. You kidnapped the wrong person.
o9. You have to get your very drunk friend out of a public place fast, and they're not exactly cooperating.
10. You blame grave illness to cancel on meeting someone, only to run into them an hour later.
11. You slip on a banana peel in the middle of your amazing performance or even more amazing shounen attack.
12. You get matched on a blind date with someone who dumped you. Twice.
13. You call out the wrong name when things get hot and heavy.
14. You have to prod this person whether they like-like your friend without outright saying it, because said friend is apparently five too shy to ask on their own.
15. You run into someone after choosing your clothing or doing your make up during a blackout.
16. You have to ask a favour of someone you publicly lambasted twenty minutes ago.
17. You wake up to find someone's been watching you sleep.
18. You answer the door in your lingerie to surprise your special other, only to find it’s not them calling.
19. You try the polite greeting your friends taught you in a different language, only to find out it’s actually a grave insult or a hilarious proposal.
20. You accidentally walk into someone showering, singing aloud, enjoying their personal time or anything else you feel like putting together.
21. Make your own or mix and match!

Comments

[witchplz]

[Rahzel definitely didn’t expect a call back, nor did she expect the red hot anger that followed. Okay, so the guy had the right to be shitty with her teasing, (but it was SO fun!) but to go to such lengths and- get such an idea in his head?! No wonder he was the leader, projecting and fantasizing about his employees private lives like whatever it was he was implying. Sounds like the kind of guy that breathed heavily over their necks and touched their chests in inappropriate manners, his balding head shining with evil. Rahzel could only sputter and blush hotly for a good two minutes before snarling back-]

Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are?! You’re the one that called me, genius! Next time maybe take your fingers out of your butt properly before you decide to dial up those poor bastards that are your employees to yell at them! No wonder they need to drink away their sorrows when they loosen their ties from their sweaty necks. I don’t know of your company, nor do I care about your company, because I’m sure if it’s as rude mannered as you are it’s got to be down the toilet by now. Or an evil organization that owns the cheese of the world!

For your information, not that it’s any of your goddamn business, but I don’t know these employees and I’m as fit as a horse, which I’m sure is a foreign concept to someone who eats half fertilized fish eggs! I hope you drop a paperweight on your foot and your secretary spills coffee on your arm, asshole!

[From the sound of her voice she’s definitely pouty and reluctant to add something for the good of this dickhole who was clearly just having a bad day and…as much as he made her mad with his dumbass ass(………)umptions, he deserved some slack. Even though she COULD go about suing for all that good stuff....sigh, it's hard to be a good person these days.] Seriously, take some vitamin C after you have your coffee. It might help prevent migraines from lack of nutrition.

[mommyknowsbest]

If you don't know who I or my company is then I have no more use for you. [He took a moment to consider her words. He'd called her? Maybe it was a mix-up after all...or maybe that's what they wanted Kyouya to believe. Somebody's too stubborn to admit it was a case of the sleepy brain.] And, wait a second, did she just say--]

Despite what little you actually know about my company I can assure you it isn't going down the toilet. Not that I have to take this kind of slander from an obviously rash person such as yourself. I have no further comment on the manner or the nature of my business. Mind your business, why don't you.

My employees receive my critiques due them, as it is all part of building a successful empi--er, company. If it helps you sleep better tonight, though, one of them probably will spill coffee on my arm. I've really got to get to work on that...

[Kyouya was surprised to hear the shift in tone toward professionalism at the end and frowned. Was that supposed to be some kind of health nut insult?]

There is no research for the dietary benefits of such a mineral, so I am disinclined to agree with you. But let me extend my thanks for the attempt at advice. I must admit the use of folk medicine is a mystery to me amidst the high technology of legitimate medical practices.

[Ohhhhh you've done it now you...]

[witchplz]

I could say the same for you! Someone who doesn't instantly know who I am doesn't deserve to lick the heels of my strappy sandals, let alone my crocs! [[HMPH! This asshole just couldn't admit to any wrong doing, could he? Well, it's his bowels getting in an uproar, his complex is not her problem. But she was never one to take those below her down a peg or two...
Her voice drips with the sheer haughtiness on her smug little face]

Psh, if you can't take a little normal joe treatment then it's no wonder your company is going to hell and a hand basket. Forgetting about the little people is just the first step off the plank, I'm afraid. Sounds like it's too late. Oh noooo! Is that the sound of an illegitimate child lawsuit? Sachiko's tired of being a secret in your basement and wants to come to the fundraiser? You're shit outta luck, man. I'll mind my business when yours isn't interfering with my day, how about that, your majesty?

[She snorts, that's what she thinks about your empire, asshole.]
I think you're forgetting a key factor here to any good business: team building exercises. Your participation included. How can they trust you to not forge their signatures when all you do is breathe heavily and fondle your Rolodex in front of them? Tsk, tsk. [A considerable pause follows] I didn't...really mean that. I'm sorry. I hope your secretary leans down too far to mop up the mess and you get a good view of her 4 carat gold necklace instead. [Sullen Rahzel is sullen. No she didn't want to apologize to him, he probably didn't deserve an apology but...but still. The nagging feeling that he was just having a bad day and usually hid his terrible personality through calculating means kept bugging her.

ok she takes some of that back. At least he seems more mystified than assho- oh nope nevermind. She frowns as well] Getting your organs replaced with mechanical ones can only help so much when it comes to natural means, buddy! Don't you look down on Mother Nature or she's gonna put you over her knee and look down at you after she's beat your cheeks until they're as red as cherries! Vitamins are good for you. Having water every once and awhile instead of coffee would probably do wonders for you, too.