kyouyasangels_inc | always with the one-track mind

Not to mention some motherfuckin' checks to write out to the best employee of the goddamn month, Badou C. Nails. Better toot it 'n boot it quick, boss, the bank closes soon, even for elites who rub their cracks with 100 dollar bills~

Oh...

You're still here.

[ Arching an eyebrow, Kyouya faces off with Badou, though he smelled him long before he saw him. ]

I'm not at all surprised by your lack of retention, but I will repeat myself as much as it takes. When you do something worth monetary compensation, I will pay you. But that comes in exchange for labor, which you obviously cannot comprehend. ~~never mind that mommy dearest hasn't actually cum up with labor for him to do yet~~

[ Glasses Adjust™ maaaaaaaake-up! /transformation sequence ]

I do not condone such behavior. Papercuts are not only a nuisance, they are unhygienic as well.

[Badou rolls his eye and is about to legit Queen Beryl this motherfucker, sans the tacky ass press on nails and harem of faggots in capes. Probably. So he gripes and scowls]

Your co-project, a rendition of The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Cocks in My Mouth and Ears must be fuckin' monopolizin' not just your clip board an your hair jell worshipin', but your attention too. [He's plenty huffy at the teen for NEGLECTING his PAYCHECKS god fucking dammit, and overlooking his hard work!!] What the fuck do you call me runnin' your shitty errands an' missions while you pulled a Sleeping Dicky, if not errands? Huh? I wasn't the one on vacation, some of us worked for a livin'.

That's what your expensive ass Aloe Vera ass cream is for, ya noob. Sheesh.

My clipboard! I knew there was something I couldn't find...

[ Kyouya begins searching, scrabbling around, mostly trying to exercise away the increasing blood pressure in his head--if he doesn't get away from this moron soon-- ]

I'm not sure Andrew Lloyd Webber is going to go for that kind of musical but if you want to pitch the idea to him it would be more productive than anything you've done for me so far in the time I've had the misfortune to know you.

[ smirk ] Running my errands? I remember no such errand-running, just persistent, loud and full-hearted bitching about said errands.

[ he can't find his clipboard or notebook so he's angry. And you wouldn't like him when he's angry. So he turns around and fixes Badou with his haughtiest stare to date, itching to push buttons in a rare (lol) bid for power. In a more...aggressive way. ]

So. Badou C. Nails, hm? What does the 'C' stand for, Coc--

[Badou smirks at the sight of this distress, seeing Kyouya all ruffle feathered and out of sorts was both unnerving and also rustled the coals of his Being a Dickhole. So to celebrate this union upheaval, Badou lights a new cigarette and takes a puff]

Pretty sure Jane Eyre's petticoats are bunchin' up around her crusty victorian asscheeks at your name droppin', brah. [His smirk takes on a dangerous edge as he, too, is overcum by emotion, both...nostalgic, missing, and annoyance at this asshole's skill.] Oy, oy, oyyyy, there you an the rest of your ass wallet stuffin' ancestors go, belittlin' the work of your employees an stuffin' your faces with fish jizz! This shit's called selective mothercuntin' memory. You oughtta throw all that money of yours at some doctor an get that checked out.

[A single red eyebrow hitches at the sheer sass oozing (....) from his boss and he leers, half impressed at his uncouth ~~swineline~~ behavior]

Cock? You can't even say it, ya nancy boy? No, it stands for Cocksure, like Kyouya's roots go back to Kyouya the god of cheereke tampons who once took a gander at Hera's bra an was punished, his ass filled with all the clipboards of the multiverse.

Edited 2013-04-18 08:25 (UTC)

[ Kyouya's Rich Nostrils (adds +1 to his agility), much less used to secondhand smoke than the flowery arrangements or Tamaki's d or whathaveyou at Ouran, flare and up curls his lip in disgust ]

Jane E--you know, no. Red Herring. [ he mutters ]

Oh, I know all about selective memory, seeing as I "employ" somebody who displays an extraordinary knack for it himself! Though, of course, it could be all the cigarettes.

Hmmm...

[ at first he's listening, amused, to Badou's retort before it descends into inane babble--'cheereke tampons'? What on earth were those? but if Badou was into them, they were sure to be vile--but then he devises his Perfect Retort. Revenge. In the wise words of Reese Wilkerson, "VENDETTAAA!" ]

Why would I invest in somebody who won't be around long from such a habit? In fact--

[ he coolly reaches out, snatches the cigarette, and breaks it in half before dropping the lit half to the ground, grounding his heel into it. he steels himself for the storm. I see a giiiiinger moon risin'... ]

--as of now, smoking is prohibited on the job. ~~Upupu...~~

Edited 2013-04-18 08:58 (UTC)

[Badou snorts] Well you certainly ain't no Freddie Jones, yourself- weeeeelll....[That'd make Tamaki Daphne....SHIT.
Maybe it isn't a spiritual thing so much as a danger zoooooone, animal instincts sort of thing, but he sees the nostril flare and the short hairs at the nape of his neck are definitely on end. For good reason, because computer calloused fingers pluck Badou's cigarette from between orangutan lips and THREW IT ON THE GROUUUNNNNDDD!
Like the static of a tv right before the ghosts cum knocking on your asshole, Badou can only stare, open mouthed, the teens words ringing along with tinnitus within his ears.]

That cuntin' right, boss? [The raspy wheeze that leaves Badou's mouth is a tad scary, a mad grin across his lips, head cocked to one side as he reaches for Kyouya's face, removes his glasses, and promptly tucks them into his pants] I think now's the time to put some of that ass stuffin' trainin' to twerk an fix that lazy eyes of yours, yeah? Fair trade off, teamwork buildin' exercize. [Kyouya would be paying for more cigarettes]

[ ~~I'M PISSING would that dog Tamaki got at the mall that time be Scooby or~~ Anything the Shadow King would have said in retort was erased (along with his vision - what little he had without his glasses ~~whispers 'I feel you bro'~~) until his elder is nothing but a blur of pale whiteness that rivaled even Kyouya's ivory doll-like skin...pffffft--and red hair. And a streak of black among them.

Kyouya narrowed his eyes. Though it didn't do much good, it did allow a smirk to easily cross his face. He was a little intimidated but not enough to be worried. He'd cum up with something, anything to keep from losing his temper. He wanted to see how far he could get, like a schoolboy on a date at Lover's Peak. What were Badou's limits? ]

Yes, that's quite right.

[ Then--Badou gave it away. Without knowing it, he sealed his fate. One could almost smell what The Mama was cooking, see the evil glint of an anime villain in his un-bespectacled eyes. ]

Lazy eyes of mine?

[ He reached out and with the force of a thousand scrawny clipboard boners, pulled back Badou's eyepatch toward himself, a smirk flashing over his features briefly before he let it go, letting the CRACK! resound in the air sweetly. ]

How's that for teamwork?

[ a.k.a. you betta check yoself before you wreck yoself, Badou ]

Edited 2013-04-19 01:21 (UTC)

~~undoubtedly and Haruhi is obvs Velma~~ Badou allows himself (stupidly and constipatedly) a moment of triumph; though the glasses really poked at awkward places on his ass, and were cold to the touch, not to mention the Very Antagonist aura oozing from them was disconcerting to the point of possessed fucking honky artifacts in horror movies, he figured he'd one up'd his dickhole employer. He could practically hear the future cat calls of respect. And a raise.
In this false sense of security, he was still smirking when he felt a tug on his eyepatch, and in that moment, time stood still. A fresh breeze floated across his exposed skin, the ear hooks on Kyouya's glasses dug into the crack of his ass, and Angel Crisis began to play somewhere out there.
Then came the snap and pain, pain, pain]
Some
BODY ONCE TOLD ME

MOOOOOOOOTHERFUCK! YOU FUCKIN' SAGGY DICKSLIT!! DIDN'T YOUR GOVERNESS WITH THE COCKEYED THIRD NIPPLE OR HOT ILLEGAL NANNY WITH THE LOPSIDED TIT TELL YOU TO RESPECT THOSE WITH DISIBILITIES?! I'M CALLIN THE GODDAMN UNION ON YOUR STUFFED ASS!
[Tears in his eye, boogers trickling down his lip, eyepatch askew, bright red mark on his forehead throbbing, Badou grabs Kyouya by his (unpopped) collar and hoists him close, snarling]

Edited 2013-04-19 02:23 (UTC)

Calling the union?

[ laughs ]

My family owns the union.

[ his face screwed up into another expression of disgust - careful, Mommy queerest, your face'll get stuck that way - as the thick, overwhelming smell of Badou's breath mixed with tobacco washed over him ]

You might want to consider a toothbrush and toothpaste every once in a while. Maybe I should enroll you in some personal hygiene courses as part of your...employee orientation.

[ as he's talking he's oh so smoothly slipping his hand into Badou's back pocket for his glasses. yes, fresh meat (.......) for the shark. but desperate times and all that. oh, Mommy, maybe not one of your best decisions ]

Are you going to actually do anything? Or just continue breathing toxic fumes into my face?

The only thing I fuckin smell is your ratchet ass cologne made from the delicious sweet salty tears of orphans. That an some sweaty ass conspiracy theories. Your family the fuckin' Illuminati too? Wouldn't put it past ya. [Badou's face is screwed (......) up in disbelief and definitely enough anger to fuel a deathstar. He shakes Kyouya by the collar, just a bit.] Am I gonna get paid for this shitty seminar? You leave my fuckin' orientation alone, the kinky shit you an daddy do ain't my prob-
[Instead of the rest of that bitch-tirade, what leaves Badou's mouth is a squawk as his cheeks flush and his face turns stoney (heh...). Tightly (.......), he intones-]

...That ain't your glasses you're squeezin'.

Well it certainly smells better than whatever kind of scent you're going for, halfway between wet dog and burning cigarette factory, perhaps?

Illuminati?

[ then Kyouya laughs but it's less like a laugh and more like a sinister chortle. If Badou squints he could make out the tiny glimmer of evil in Kyouya's eyes ]

If I told you they were, there'd be no point to the whole 'secret society' part, don't you think?

[ Kyouya can't help but feel a shiver of satisfaction at Badou's sudden change in voice race down his rich, gay spine. Fucking sadist. He chooses to ignore the comment about his and 'Daddy's'...indiscretions. ]

Oh? Is that so? [ he takes on a tone of innocence and beams brightly ]

Maybe this is better? [ he slides out one hand just to slide the other in Badou's other back pocket. Though the satisfaction from Badou's reaction was...well, sure to be satisfying, Kyouya had to admit to himself that his patience was growing thin with the older young man. ]

Edited 2013-04-24 00:09 (UTC)

[Badou's face twists savagely and morphs into a pretty scary ass, disgusting, edged smile as he says]

If you're so turned off by my manry, rugged scent, why do you keep gropin' my ass, boss? The fuck's your policy over inter species- I mean coppin' feels in the workplace, huh? You ain't diggin' for kryptonite on this one way goddamn street, that's for sure.

[Badou's asscheeks clench in sheer Do Not Want, Incest, and under his breath he begins to hum Five for Fighting's 'Superman'] STOP TOUCHIN' MY ASS YOU BACKDOOR BANDIT! LITERALLY!

[ That's it. The gloves are comin' off (I'd say glasses but they already did).

Kyouya yanks his hand back and with both hands on Badou's chest, shoves him back as hard as he can to get the older boy-man's grip off him. The rage is thick ~~like his di--~~ and he can't see straight--well, at all, really, but especially straight, pun possibly intended--but that doesn't stop him from be a pissy bitch. ]

WHERE. ARE. MY. GLASSES?

[ with each word he shoves Badou back more; even though he's not yet spitting and convulsing in his anger yet it's rising with every word ]

I'M NOT TOUCHING YOUR ASS OUT OF DESIRE, AND IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE YOU ARE SERIOUSLY DELUDED!

[ Kyouya steps menacingly closer, looking ever the more like Monobear, his eyes flashing dangerously. His voice lowers to a near-whisper. ]

And to think, you were so close to getting your first check. It's already halfway made out and everything.

Edited 2013-04-24 13:26 (UTC)

[Badou stumbles back, but regains his balance with that booty of his and leans towards Kyouya dangerously, eye narrowed. At the total cockblock to his paycheck, he promptly loses it as well. And he ain't skimpy about the spittle as he grabs Kyouya by the popped collar again and snarls
~~yea ok I bet his dick is as thin as the bear dicks I was linked to on twitter today~~]

FUCK YOU! GIMMIE THAT CHECK, YOU AIN'T PAYED ME ONE IOTA OF WHAT I GET ACCORDIN' TO THAT CONTRACT YOU LOVE TO RUB AGAINST YOUR BALLS! Is all that jizz in your ears messin' with your brain or are you gettin' rusty? The only upper hand you've got here is the hand you had up my juicy ass. [Badou grimaces, looking distinctly green as he fantasi- flashes back.]

Now, you're a fuckin' penny ass pinchin' business man, aintcha? I'm willin' to come to a truce.

For somebody who had such a problem with me trying to find my glasses, you sure keep bringing it up a lot. Hmm...

[ makes a mental note to record later ]

A truce? That has something to do with my being a penny pinching businessman? Because I'll own up to that title. At least it's respectful.

[ gives him the ol' "Go ahead...I'm listening...if it's worth my time." Kyouya look™ ]

Edited 2013-04-30 03:44 (UTC)

It comes with the PTSD your sandy ass is lucky I ain't gonna sue you for. It's a part of movin' past the trauma until my brain bleach kicks in.

[If that's the nicest thing Kyouya's been called besides 'your highness' or 'your clipboardness'...not sure if sad or amazing. Jutting out his chin in what he hopes is a businessmanlike manner, he delivers the blow (......)]

I give you your specs back, forget you tried to fist me with the aid of many drinks, and you forget shootin' the shit about cockblockin' my paycheck. And we'll be square. What say you, boss?

always with the one-track mind

hey there good lookin

kyouya is that pic of j.d. screaming internally (ALSO, SCREAM @ TOOT N BOOT)

YELLS!!! (=u= I'm glad u approve)

the temper is slowly rising...soon the roof is gonna be on fiyah

i'm so excited i could poop?? also badou's snark is rising, buyer beware (is kyouya the buyer?? yea)

I AM TOO I FEEL IT CROWNING A LIL (he's gonna want his money back)

(uHM what kind of establishment do you think this is, girl scouts? aint no refunds, brah)

aww but Badou would be so cute in his lil' Girl Scouts dress!

hes gonna be selling cookies cooked with fresh jizz then

there's a market for that......THERE'S a way to get allowance. kekek

eat a dick i'm suing

too bad I've got the better lawyers HEH (also goddammit I made a topping joke and forgot it THX DW)

it's fate that you forgot it then. Fate that Badou tops =u= (I lied this reply isnt my best butt)

it's 8:30 in the morning so forgive me if this is dog doodoo

shhh no it's beautiful and chilling, I felt a breeze in my asscrack (beez in the trap)

GOMEN THIS IS SO LATE!!

SHHH AINT NO THANG BUT A...G THANG, YO...or s/t