![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gorillatama posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
kyouyasangels_incDear mun-chan,
Now I know innocent young maidens such as yourself are privy to jokes but enough is enough. You're going to hurt yourself, making so much fairy dust and milk dew honey escape from your butt like a glorified halo. And Peter or James or whatever his name is will be really sad when he goes to take little children away from their safe homes and parents and finds he can't. Though...[He rubs his chin thoughtfully. Don't strain too hard.] That would make my job of arresting him easier. Decisions, decisions. Fairy butt dust shortage or kidnapping charges...hmmm....
[No Kondo-san, that's a fart. A toot. A poot. Cutting the chee-]
[Kondo brandishes a fist, determination burning in his poop brown eyes] NonononONONO! I WON'T ACCEPT IT! GIRLS DO NOT FART! OTAE-SAN DOES NOT FART! SHE SHOWERS THE WORLD WITH PIXIE DUST because she is the most fair pixie of them all...with those soft brown eyes and tiny mounds on her chest....[We've lost Kondo-san. R.I.P.
He snaps out of it, huzzah!]
I know why you called upon me. For my butt expertise. But without further study I don't know why your pixie dust butt hiccups and bubble gum popping are in unison.
[A chuckle.] It's a very pretty harmony, though! [Do his shitbrained ideas never cease? Nope, judging by the lightbulb that pops up above his head.] Heyhey, I've got a great idea! Why don't you go on tour with Otsuu-chan and get me free tickets for Shinpachi-kun and Otae-san and we'll be one big happy family again! Shinpachi-kun will be so enamored he won't mind if Otae-san and me have a little adult time...ehehehehe...[Hearts in eyes, drool, a vacant look on his face...check, check and check.]
Seriously though. [Serious Kondo-san? Oh dear. He crosses his arms over his chest, his face softening.] You don't play with me in six months then all of a sudden your friend challenges you with her... [Squints. His eyebrows rise to his hairline in confusion] Wrinkley old man ball...addiction, with a delinquent character to boot, and that lights a fire under your ass?
[He fails at keeping a straight face, instead he laughs wholeheartedly. This is where he'd be giving out major noogies or hair ruffles if the whole 2-d and rl didn't cum into play. There's that warm gorri-smile.]
Glad to have you back! We'll give her and her troubled young friend a run for their monkey. Er, money. I won't start with the gorri-puns just yet, I won't, I won't. So until then read and watch my valiant conquests and seductive techniques. No worries, this'll be a lot of fun!
Yours,
Kondo Isao
P.s Help me find Otae-san and I'll do anything. Even braid my butt hair.
P.P.S Should we have a spring wedding or a winter wedding? I hear winter weddings are less booked, plus seeing Otae-san's beautiful brown eyes twinkling from the snow reflecting in them, even the yellow snow, will make my heart (and other things) swell.
P.P.S.S-
[We get the picture, idiot!]
Now I know innocent young maidens such as yourself are privy to jokes but enough is enough. You're going to hurt yourself, making so much fairy dust and milk dew honey escape from your butt like a glorified halo. And Peter or James or whatever his name is will be really sad when he goes to take little children away from their safe homes and parents and finds he can't. Though...[He rubs his chin thoughtfully. Don't strain too hard.] That would make my job of arresting him easier. Decisions, decisions. Fairy butt dust shortage or kidnapping charges...hmmm....
[No Kondo-san, that's a fart. A toot. A poot. Cutting the chee-]
[Kondo brandishes a fist, determination burning in his poop brown eyes] NonononONONO! I WON'T ACCEPT IT! GIRLS DO NOT FART! OTAE-SAN DOES NOT FART! SHE SHOWERS THE WORLD WITH PIXIE DUST because she is the most fair pixie of them all...with those soft brown eyes and tiny mounds on her chest....[We've lost Kondo-san. R.I.P.
He snaps out of it, huzzah!]
I know why you called upon me. For my butt expertise. But without further study I don't know why your pixie dust butt hiccups and bubble gum popping are in unison.
[A chuckle.] It's a very pretty harmony, though! [Do his shitbrained ideas never cease? Nope, judging by the lightbulb that pops up above his head.] Heyhey, I've got a great idea! Why don't you go on tour with Otsuu-chan and get me free tickets for Shinpachi-kun and Otae-san and we'll be one big happy family again! Shinpachi-kun will be so enamored he won't mind if Otae-san and me have a little adult time...ehehehehe...[Hearts in eyes, drool, a vacant look on his face...check, check and check.]
Seriously though. [Serious Kondo-san? Oh dear. He crosses his arms over his chest, his face softening.] You don't play with me in six months then all of a sudden your friend challenges you with her... [Squints. His eyebrows rise to his hairline in confusion] Wrinkley old man ball...addiction, with a delinquent character to boot, and that lights a fire under your ass?
[He fails at keeping a straight face, instead he laughs wholeheartedly. This is where he'd be giving out major noogies or hair ruffles if the whole 2-d and rl didn't cum into play. There's that warm gorri-smile.]
Glad to have you back! We'll give her and her troubled young friend a run for their monkey. Er, money. I won't start with the gorri-puns just yet, I won't, I won't. So until then read and watch my valiant conquests and seductive techniques. No worries, this'll be a lot of fun!
Yours,
Kondo Isao
P.s Help me find Otae-san and I'll do anything. Even braid my butt hair.
P.P.S Should we have a spring wedding or a winter wedding? I hear winter weddings are less booked, plus seeing Otae-san's beautiful brown eyes twinkling from the snow reflecting in them, even the yellow snow, will make my heart (and other things) swell.
P.P.S.S-
[We get the picture, idiot!]