James Norrington (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uniquelybroken) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
kyouyasangels_inc2016-08-28 11:24 pm
uniquelybroken) wrote in kyouyasangels_inc2016-08-28 11:24 pm
don't fucking look at my boner when we fight
[It's only the second time James Norrington has been behind the wheel of a car. It's okay, he's mostly got down the whole gas and brake pedals thing. But then it started raining. After a heated fight about the windshield wiper lever, James huffs and speaks those fateful words, he, who should have known better more than most:]
At least we figured it out. [Read: Badou screaming how to do it while James pushes buttons and hits other levers and puts the car in second gear while they're driving. He can't actually remember how they got it sorted.]
Can't get worse now eh?
[Then the car hits a puddle caused by backup of drainage on the street and the engine stalls, sputters, and finally dies just feet away. He turns to look at his no-doubt irate passenger.]
...uh.
[disheartening enough, Badou doesn't scream this time. Oh, his nostrils flair and his eye is so bloodshot its a wonder he can see through it, not to mention he's still got a white-knuckle grip on the bottom of his seat.
Its a crickety-crickety-crickety noise his neck makes when his gaze snaps to James.]
Uh? Uh is all you can say. It can't get worse now. It can't get worse.
[he's powering up for his saiyain move]
[James is tight-lipped, his mouth a solid, stoic, and straight line. Their gazes lock for a nicely tension- and silence-filled thirty seconds before James shrugs.]
It's what I said, innit? I mean, I'm not a mechanic, so what d'you expect? 'Sure, let me get that fixed right up!'?
[he takes one look at James, blank faced and nostrils flairing--
and wraps his fingers around his neck.]
YOU MOTHERFUCKER! KIRI'S GONNA RIP YOUR PEEHOLE OUT!
[James is well prepared for this type of reaction, it was a matter of time really, and reaches out to yank hard on Badou's hair, very seriously thinks about popping him with his eyepatch but knows better even then.]
Kiri -- will -- have to -- just take it out -- of my check -- GET OFF...
[He wheezes, acutely aware of both the windshield wipers still going fiercely, and how much he wants to kill the ginger in front of him. (What else is new) He pulls harder.]
Fuckin'...why don't you -- find someone then!
[good because the more pain that lances through his head like fire, the harder he squeezes James' neck, all reason out the window in the storm they haven't realized they're stuck in yet.]
I'M GONNA FIND YOU IN THE GODDAMN GRAVE! IN THE FUCKING PIT! I'M GONNA MAKE SURE ALL THEY FIND IS YOUR STUPID CUNTING WIG!
[James lets go with one hand to punch Badou in the ribs, hard enough to get the point across but not hard enough to break because that would be evenmore bitching and he is not about that lifejust kidding because why else would he be in this situation oh yeah he has no other option.]
Not if you go first, you giant dickhead! I'll make sure you go FIRST! And bury you with my wig so you're with it for eternity!
[the wind's knocked out of him, he's flailing, flailing, flailing-- his fingers tangle in dark locks and, reeling back with new wind or-- stupidity, he yanks James' hair]
YOU'RE GOING FIRST! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE GOING! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR WIG'D GRANDPA, YOU FUCKHOLE! SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
[Finally the hands are off his throat and he's yanking his hair instead and James isn't particularly tender-headed after years of wigs but goddamn Badou's grip is strong.
James tries to do it, pop that eyepatch, he tries but the parking brake hits him in the abdomen on the twist around and he curses.]
NOT UNTIL YOU GET IT OUT OF YOUR ASS FIRST! YOU'RE THE ONE OBSESSED WITH MY WIG!
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT USES IT TO FLOSS YOUR DICK! YOU SLEEP WITH IT, I KNOW YOU DO, MOTHERFUCKER!
[that's fine because he's rounding around there with his elbow in James' windpipe anyway]
PROVE IT THEN, PROVE IT! Q.E.D., ASSHO--
[There's the windpipe smash -- oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, James' hatred knows no bounds as he coughs into what feels like oblivion.]
I'm going-- cough-- to set you on fire.
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GED YOU FUCKWAD!!
[naturally he doesn't know what he's talking about but this helps, this is therapy]
IT'LL BE BETTER TO SMOKE MYSELF THAN SPEND ANOTHER SECOND IN THIS CAR WITH YOU!
SMOKE MY DICK ON YOUR WAY OUT!
[Being around this whiny tittybaby too long has had its negative effects on James, who was so refined before. He ignores the GED comment because what? even is that?
So he pulls hard on Badou's ear with one hand and his hair with the other.]
You motherfu--
[as he screams, shrilly, how are the windows not cracked, he winds the hair he's got ahold of and buries his nails in the soft skin of James' neck.]
I DON'T WANT TO GET HERPES NO THANKS!
[James can't wait to look at all these marks tomorrow and rethink on how much he wants to kill Badou Nails. And wonder how it is they haven't yet murdered one another.
Life's little miracles truly do exist.]
YOU CAN'T GET WHAT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE! FROM YOUR OWN...VENTURES!
[because of that dick
thats the only reason he's alive]
ITS NOT HERPES LIKE YOURS IS! THIS IS AN ACTUAL GODDAMN COLDSORE! At least my dick don't have scurvy.
YOU WOULD KNOW! I don't hear you complaining about my scurvy dick, asshole.
[True, but only that gingered dick]
That's cause I'm a polite individual who doesn't like to point out people's diseases.
Except your own, apparently. Twat.
AND POLITE MY ARSE!
I don't want to sail your ass, thank you.
That's not what you fucking said last night.
Your head's so far up your ass I'm surprised you even hear what you're saying.
If you hadn't made me drive in the first bloody place -- knowing FULL well that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE --
IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN, GENIUS!
BY DRIVING IN THE RAIN? ON A STICK SHIFT??? I DON'T SEE YOU DRIVING IT!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING FROM OUT OF THAT OTHER WIG ON YOUR HEAD?! You drive in all kindsa environments to get better you dingleberry!
-o-o-
[James is seeing absolutely everything in red, and Badou's nails are digging into his skin and his scalp his practically on fire. What else is new?
What else isn't new is how turned on James is by it all; maybe it's the closed and close atmosphere, windows fogged and being indefinitely stuck in the rain until they let someone know or someone finds out (God please don't let it be Kiri, he thinks quickly), or maybe it's the fact that this is their modus operandi (like crime lords but with gay sex and being way lamer).
Either way, he's aching for Badou and can see in that one furious eye that he's not the only one yearning for this. So he winds the fingers of his other hand into a fist around Badou's shirt, the other still twisted in that long, red hair, and tugs him forward. And even though he's already close to him -- so close that Badou's breath rolls over his face even as he chokes him -- James crushes his mouth to his. It's less of a kiss than it is a claim on him, rough and deep, adrenaline streaking through him.]
This is still all your fault, so you know.
[He mumbles at some point, pulling hard on Badou's bottom lip with his teeth. He wants to tear him apart until all that's left is his very soul.]
At least we figured it out. [Read: Badou screaming how to do it while James pushes buttons and hits other levers and puts the car in second gear while they're driving. He can't actually remember how they got it sorted.]
Can't get worse now eh?
[Then the car hits a puddle caused by backup of drainage on the street and the engine stalls, sputters, and finally dies just feet away. He turns to look at his no-doubt irate passenger.]
...uh.
[disheartening enough, Badou doesn't scream this time. Oh, his nostrils flair and his eye is so bloodshot its a wonder he can see through it, not to mention he's still got a white-knuckle grip on the bottom of his seat.
Its a crickety-crickety-crickety noise his neck makes when his gaze snaps to James.]
Uh? Uh is all you can say. It can't get worse now. It can't get worse.
[he's powering up for his saiyain move]
[James is tight-lipped, his mouth a solid, stoic, and straight line. Their gazes lock for a nicely tension- and silence-filled thirty seconds before James shrugs.]
It's what I said, innit? I mean, I'm not a mechanic, so what d'you expect? 'Sure, let me get that fixed right up!'?
[he takes one look at James, blank faced and nostrils flairing--
and wraps his fingers around his neck.]
YOU MOTHERFUCKER! KIRI'S GONNA RIP YOUR PEEHOLE OUT!
[James is well prepared for this type of reaction, it was a matter of time really, and reaches out to yank hard on Badou's hair, very seriously thinks about popping him with his eyepatch but knows better even then.]
Kiri -- will -- have to -- just take it out -- of my check -- GET OFF...
[He wheezes, acutely aware of both the windshield wipers still going fiercely, and how much he wants to kill the ginger in front of him. (What else is new) He pulls harder.]
Fuckin'...why don't you -- find someone then!
[good because the more pain that lances through his head like fire, the harder he squeezes James' neck, all reason out the window in the storm they haven't realized they're stuck in yet.]
I'M GONNA FIND YOU IN THE GODDAMN GRAVE! IN THE FUCKING PIT! I'M GONNA MAKE SURE ALL THEY FIND IS YOUR STUPID CUNTING WIG!
[James lets go with one hand to punch Badou in the ribs, hard enough to get the point across but not hard enough to break because that would be evenmore bitching and he is not about that life
Not if you go first, you giant dickhead! I'll make sure you go FIRST! And bury you with my wig so you're with it for eternity!
[the wind's knocked out of him, he's flailing, flailing, flailing-- his fingers tangle in dark locks and, reeling back with new wind or-- stupidity, he yanks James' hair]
YOU'RE GOING FIRST! YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE GOING! PREPARE TO MEET YOUR WIG'D GRANDPA, YOU FUCKHOLE! SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!
[Finally the hands are off his throat and he's yanking his hair instead and James isn't particularly tender-headed after years of wigs but goddamn Badou's grip is strong.
James tries to do it, pop that eyepatch, he tries but the parking brake hits him in the abdomen on the twist around and he curses.]
NOT UNTIL YOU GET IT OUT OF YOUR ASS FIRST! YOU'RE THE ONE OBSESSED WITH MY WIG!
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT USES IT TO FLOSS YOUR DICK! YOU SLEEP WITH IT, I KNOW YOU DO, MOTHERFUCKER!
[that's fine because he's rounding around there with his elbow in James' windpipe anyway]
PROVE IT THEN, PROVE IT! Q.E.D., ASSHO--
[There's the windpipe smash -- oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, James' hatred knows no bounds as he coughs into what feels like oblivion.]
I'm going-- cough-- to set you on fire.
DON'T TALK ABOUT MY GED YOU FUCKWAD!!
[naturally he doesn't know what he's talking about but this helps, this is therapy]
IT'LL BE BETTER TO SMOKE MYSELF THAN SPEND ANOTHER SECOND IN THIS CAR WITH YOU!
SMOKE MY DICK ON YOUR WAY OUT!
[Being around this whiny tittybaby too long has had its negative effects on James, who was so refined before. He ignores the GED comment because what? even is that?
So he pulls hard on Badou's ear with one hand and his hair with the other.]
You motherfu--
[as he screams, shrilly, how are the windows not cracked, he winds the hair he's got ahold of and buries his nails in the soft skin of James' neck.]
I DON'T WANT TO GET HERPES NO THANKS!
[James can't wait to look at all these marks tomorrow and rethink on how much he wants to kill Badou Nails. And wonder how it is they haven't yet murdered one another.
Life's little miracles truly do exist.]
YOU CAN'T GET WHAT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY HAVE! FROM YOUR OWN...VENTURES!
[because of that dick
thats the only reason he's alive]
ITS NOT HERPES LIKE YOURS IS! THIS IS AN ACTUAL GODDAMN COLDSORE! At least my dick don't have scurvy.
YOU WOULD KNOW! I don't hear you complaining about my scurvy dick, asshole.
[True, but only that gingered dick]
That's cause I'm a polite individual who doesn't like to point out people's diseases.
Except your own, apparently. Twat.
AND POLITE MY ARSE!
I don't want to sail your ass, thank you.
That's not what you fucking said last night.
Your head's so far up your ass I'm surprised you even hear what you're saying.
If you hadn't made me drive in the first bloody place -- knowing FULL well that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE --
IT'S BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU LEARN, GENIUS!
BY DRIVING IN THE RAIN? ON A STICK SHIFT??? I DON'T SEE YOU DRIVING IT!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU SEE ANYTHING FROM OUT OF THAT OTHER WIG ON YOUR HEAD?! You drive in all kindsa environments to get better you dingleberry!
[James is seeing absolutely everything in red, and Badou's nails are digging into his skin and his scalp his practically on fire. What else is new?
What else isn't new is how turned on James is by it all; maybe it's the closed and close atmosphere, windows fogged and being indefinitely stuck in the rain until they let someone know or someone finds out (God please don't let it be Kiri, he thinks quickly), or maybe it's the fact that this is their modus operandi (like crime lords but with gay sex and being way lamer).
Either way, he's aching for Badou and can see in that one furious eye that he's not the only one yearning for this. So he winds the fingers of his other hand into a fist around Badou's shirt, the other still twisted in that long, red hair, and tugs him forward. And even though he's already close to him -- so close that Badou's breath rolls over his face even as he chokes him -- James crushes his mouth to his. It's less of a kiss than it is a claim on him, rough and deep, adrenaline streaking through him.]
This is still all your fault, so you know.
[He mumbles at some point, pulling hard on Badou's bottom lip with his teeth. He wants to tear him apart until all that's left is his very soul.]